Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
