This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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