A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
