I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
