We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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