He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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