That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
