He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize