I can text with my tongue
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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