Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
