Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm too high and old for this...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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