I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
