You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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