i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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