i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
