I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
