oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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