Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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