ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
