is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
