not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My balls are so social today.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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