Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
