Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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