remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize