Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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