So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
