i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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