Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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