That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
