I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
