its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
