gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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