.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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