you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
