I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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