Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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