Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Randomize
