We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
