Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
