I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
