DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I believe in your delicious
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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