this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
