She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
