you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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