"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
