My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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