it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
