I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
