If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
