just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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