oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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