I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize