just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
