dude i'm inner monologue high
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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