Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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