Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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