ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
