Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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