I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
