She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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