I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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