What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
