listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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